I am a Survivor of Domestic Violence and Parent Alienation

My Joseph, he was 7 years old.  You are my strength to be a voice.  For your justice my son.  Life will never be the same for me.  This world is very different,  missing your loving beauty.

Mommy

To my older son.   Have pride in each step that you take. Cherish life, especially your own.  As mom always told you.  Be your heart.  In each hard moment of life, if you look within and in your foundation that faith, you will find and make a selfless miracle, and beauty.  Be love. If ever a song that says words in our moment, you are my miracle, my beauty my heart.. I love you… endlessly  You know, nothing can ever make or change your Mom.   LOL You know how strong I am, my strength comes from my heart, you, and never to harm another just help them.  I know you can see mom’s smile and laughing right now.  Just imagine that each time you hear another around you attempting to do harm your mom ( big part of who you are), my laugh.  They could not hold an ounce of what is in our soul, what we walked not many can and still be filled with love and see beauty. It is just a reflection of themselves, nothing more it stays with them..  Never can it penetrate me. Ever, know this.  Do not feel bad about it, just laugh.  They do not even have a clue of mom, do they! Laugh son.  It is the only reaction to such.  Each of us has an essence, a nature, it is felt within the first few moments of meeting someone. Have pride as  I do you in the part of you that is me.  You know mom with all your heart and I know you love me! No one can or ever will distort that truth, they would be kidding themselves.  Remember me, your smiling right now I know it, because you know mom takes no shit!  We are smart kiddo, we do for others with our hearts that is why our actions are so strong when we do things…Understand that! In whole!   You’re my warrior heart son that is inside of me.  So, I leave this here to help, nothing more.  I will attempt to leave this here that you can come back to reading such since there is alot that might not be understood now, in the words that I am speaking.  Over your lifetime revisit them, and know my search in this lifetime  was to bring knowledge and hope to others, but that by the greatest loves.  You are my greatest as well your brother treasure in my lifetime.  Nothing can take that experience and my purpose away. My intentions are to do good.  Raising awareness brings things to surface.  Then acceptance, then understanding then we make changes in ways that we will never see but know.  With every action that you take with GOOD intention for all, can only bring that same back.  It is a fact.

Mommy

First Click here to read about PAS or listen to such here. Then read forward.  To help, with loving intention, I am telling my story, as the parent that had been kept away.  Realizations of factual events, dates, and truth.  I had remained “neutral ” for years not to raise the emotions of my child.  Seeing how much that did not help him, or his extended family, that has faced pain due to actions aimed to harm me, but hurt them.  Leaving them out of events, or shared family time. I have been working hard to balance the “need for peace, and the need for war” We know in our life we are all sent to face experiences.  I cannot as well others cannot blame anyone else for our life experiences.  As we unconsciously attract those people and situations that exaggerate it, until we learn to such lesson.  Once we have a whole understanding of this, we are never the same. With what we lost, but gained to help others. What we have walked is not to be in vain, getting back up is based on our inner loving essence.  Never to waste such we take pain and create hope a light in the dark, for others in places we had been shown what might had helped, but was not available  for you.  There is always purpose in such. We become strong enough to stand again, share our learning to help the next.  Since it was paved into our paths for a reason.  I do a lot of self-healing and studies, and I know very well I had been handed the doubled-edged sword of knowing the greatest pain but yet the highest of love .  The wisdom we learn is how we solve this in our lifetimes. I have learned to create and stay to those that have been given the same sword.  Then life is less for me to have to attract the same again as I had already learned.  So I keep my circle of experienced to the level of my understanding as I walk them.  All of us have to realize that it is best to hold relationships with those who have shared external goals.  Allowing that uncoinous dealing alone, So to help the next we join groups or create them when we see that they are not in reach to keeping to the close unexpected dramas that we had already faced before.  Remaining silent within no longer has to be, and we can share with same like people that have been placed in this lifetime to the same.  True friendships and partnerships emerge.  Group sessions is wonderful for this understanding to keep going forward, in a positive way even after we have to face so much.  Counseling is always a good idea because it can direct us to those groups.

So I no longer remain silent.  I never want to hear again, my sister cry for the lack of empathy.  I never want to see my mother feel she cannot pick up a phone to calling her grandchild since they will attack her. The missed time with his cousins who need him to look up to.  How much they love him, so confused by his lack of being part of their lives, they do so by each attempt they have a chance to include him.  Like making him their sponsors, how much I see them attempting to reaching out.  What do they get in return?  Had they been invited to meet those that received Josephs street naming as an example, or had they been part of the campaign raged towards me. I make things happen for them.  In hope that my older awakens to the campaign that has limited such wonderful memories, for at the end that is what we hold.   Time is precious, many had been lost and if one cannot see that time is to be cherished, then they have lost the very said compassion they had explained in an outward tale in a high school essay, for a scholarship.  So it seems we have all reached a time in healing that we can write and tell our story.

 

” Silence is not golden.” 

So again if you had not done earlier  SIT BACK AND LISTEN BEFORE YOU GO FORWARD – It is audio for a full understanding. It is only 10 minutes long.

 

 

 

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 Parent Alienation. PAS in all tends to fall under the radar but is abuse.  Behavioral Scientist Steve Maraboli describes it as “an emotional act of violenceaimed at an adult, but one that critically wounds a child.”

Parental alienation syndrome is when one parent is targeted with a campaign of hatred by the other parent and uses the child as a vehicle for his or her hostile agenda.All children deserve to have their loving parents in their lives.  Parent alienation is a cycle that removes one’s attachment .. which cannot be replaced by another.  Treatment is very much needed to break from such.  It is not a disorder but can manifest into different disorders over time if left untreated.  Parental alienation refers not to the acts of manipulation, but rather to the child’s rejection of a parent that results from alienating behavior.  Some United States courts have also tried to address the issue through mandated reunification therapy.  Due to the nature of allegations of parental alienation, many courts require that a qualified expert witness testifies in support of allegations of parental alienation or in association with any allegation. Treatment will and should be ordered.  It is very important, to understand the long-lasting effects on children.  Some have problems with things that they once loved but start to refuse since it reminds them of the alienated parent. They even start to dislike things about themselves that remind them of them. It is a hidden cycle that can hold for later years.  I never wish it upon anyone.  When a child speaks condemning, ridicule, and builds a wall, with complete rejections, it shows for itself.  If a child is still saying you did things that had been normal parenting but turned into a nightmare, then it is a sign of parent alienation.  There are many videos and literature and groups available.  My children had been documented after a third-party evaluation to having “extreme/ severe” and PTSD. The alienation cannot fully take hold in the absence of the failure of the legal and mental health communities to inadvertently support and enable the alienating parent. That a very important aspect when it is discovered.

They are given their own therapist, no one can be assigned the same as the child.  Courts will never allow such.  I will always keep to knowing this is a trauma inflicted on my child and I will never give up, even if he is 40 years old. I am his mom and I love him unconditionally.  There are many videos available associated to parent alienation, here is one.

My name is Julianne Riceputo. (old divorced name of DeNicola). Divorced finally finalized on 2/2016 that I filed in 2011. I am a grieving mom, survived 14 years of domestic violence. The abuse started right as I was pregnant with my older son, within the first month of marriage. I had attempted to leave, but he took my child, and in fear, I gave in, since my child was only 4 months old and premature when I first filed in May of 1998. Many told me how wrong it would be for me to do this. My family not speaking to me for some time after as well friends since I went back to the abuser. I tried to tell them that I need to sacrifice for my child. I felt this strongly.

I took it, as most victims do, for our children.  jbjb The stages are there, we can speak of them with others that have survived in groups. As we attempt to help the next.  They are not alone, but it does become isolation to keeping everyone safe around us.

So to telling my story and clearing my throat finally.  To help the next. For my family that still gets hurt by actions aimed towards me, for my friends that have stood by me for years and told me if I do not speak my story, they will….. I love you all..

It is time.  It might get boring after the above.  It will be more detail of person goings on.  Documents and dates, realizations as they took place.  I will again update this as I can do so.  So if interested save and revisit ever so often.  Feel free to share it with another that might be going through the same.  As I stated before, it can feel overwhelmingly isolated as we walk through such, but hearing from others of the same creates conscious understandings, rather than unconscious guessings.  They might be less or greater danger.  So never ignore the calls.

I married him since I followed my faith to giving a family a chance when I got pregnant by this man who turned into a non-human, (I will refer to him as the abuser, not to condemn but I have worked to realize to adapting to what role he turned to being. When I was referring to him as “my” ex-husband, I was still attaching him to my life, That needed to be removed. I am not part of such of his identity).  I had only known him for three months before this took place and I did not know many from his past until I already had become pregnant.  He had taken advantage of me as I was drunk one night crying over an ex.  I was so young and so naive.

I cannot see how any human being can really function daily with the need to harming another.  A very dark place to have to be all the time, each day forward.  We can only pray for others. We do not control another, nor do we own their actions, that is theirs endlessly.   We control our reactions, and it is in stages.. learned.

So many years, I took it, allowing it, why? Always attempting to hope it is just a stage, this person will stop.  They never do. We should always seek to leave and use our voice as soon as possible.  ALWAYS! Not only your life, but your loved ones lives depend on it.  I was lucky to realize I had to get away from the abuser when I did.dicorce-1

I am alive because I had a voice and finally spoke out when it was getting to the point that I could not stay. I would not be typing this, many times I was left for dead. We go back to get our children, we go back to get some more time to get help. There have to be better ways for a woman and those facing such abuse. It is very sickening thinking back on each time.  I have placed it in what I call a black hole and I keep all the abuse there..so many nightmares that I can bring to light, but I will keep them there, they no longer serve me and I give them back to him since it was all him who created such.

I am still healing, and working with doctors to relook and live after so many events of trauma. Ptsd is crippling, but we never give up do we.  I am told to journal, so I am.  This is part of my therapy as so advised to do, doctors orders more or less.  It does feel good to release.   Why not share it to help the next, it is my voice and what I had to walk and face.  It deserves to be told so another know they are not alone.  My blessing to you as you are reading.  It is of my purest intent to share and my right.

As I get a stronger day in between, I will be updating as much as I can.

As I do this will be updated little by little.. I thank technology and text to speech to helping me daily be my voice to help the next.

My children are victims since they never got out of the abusers grasp, either by death or parental alienation. I had fought with my all, with all that was available to me.  I sought every way possible to get my children safe. Never stopping even up to today.  As I am leaving this in hopes my older son seeks help to getting a life not filled with the effects of it all.

We have seen that in many ways, the cycle continues, sadly. I am leaving this here for him to have truths, seek his own trusted help. Knowing he is giving his all to healthy relationships in the future. I always tell other people.  Watch how they treat their mothers, that is what they will hold to you.  We fill a void as we become their wives. Not many understand the relationship carry alot into their extended relationships.  Many who know our situation, know that it was a level of criminal what the abuser had done to both of our children, parent alienation is a lifetime abuse and the effects last for generations.  I know and pray that my child can break the cycle and see more than was defined for him wrongfully, to seeking deeper.  I expect the ridicule, the finger pointing, that being the whole of such a sad sickness. I will still love him, regardless because I cared enough to finding answers for him when he is ready. We all reach a point in our lives that we look deeply, in those places I am sure he will find love and truth without such over elaborated distortions.  To see the larger whole.  It will help.  It is very easy to point at one person to be the problem of all our pain when in truth every element plays its part.  I pray. he awakens to it all.  Selective hearing and selective viewing are not being a truthful person. Standing with empathy for all we then can feel and know why one should not harm another.  With empathy comes deep love and knowledge of the greatest truths.  Not a small portion, defined for us, and not how we so deeply can understand.  It is like keeping someone in a cave.   Plato’s Allegory of the Cave.  “The cave” how I can only give as an example of what I am referring.

My children had been told by the abuser, that I had left them in 2013.  Not that he was tormenting and stalking and attempting to harm me beyond what I can even place in words. In little less than a year, my son Joseph was dead, I say again to all, was it wroth my sons life.  I do hope that this starts to open discussions associated to Food Allergies and other life threatening illnesses during a period of contested divorces, it will act as a foundation, this I know, since it is created with the purpose of good intents.  Raisin the awarenesses, to start the discussions and then what needs to be reviewed to help the next.  I had many come to me that had been facing the same and I provided them with the index number of our case to showing how life can be taken when abuses and neglect is not addressed quickly.

I hope the criminal record stops, to giving him some hesitation, from hurting another. I hope what I had the courage to document and share helps the next to stay safe.  That is my intent along each step.   I have great loss but have gained a lot of blessings, wisdom to seeing truths for what they are, in whole. My children suffering as a parent not allowing my youngest to his desired longings, he was a very wise child beyond his years.  Some would say liked outside of the restraints of the abusers “cave”.  My Joe.  With so much I was limited to getting to them without facing nights in a cell or being in the hospital. I learned by actual events being placed in such as I attempted endlessly to not leaving them.  Realization takes over that you can do more by staying safe out of the grasps of such abuse. Many come towards me to teaching me this.  I did not act to just walking away I held on to each grasp of hope and strength I could.  Many that know me cannot even comprehend the injustices to me and them.  I know it must be hard to face me, as he gets older knowing of all that had been done, to all.  Nothing will change events, they speak for themselves.  You cannot hide an elephant in a room the size to only fit a mouse.

My child is dead as I begged for them to not keep them with the abuser.  That the damage can be endless when asked over and over, do you think he will harm them?  I answered with truths.  We are ignored, even after asked.  My son is dead, in the hands of care of the abuser for little over 18 months. The other I cannot even place in words what I know will be forward.  As I have seen him keeping tight to the falsehoods.  He serves no one but himself in this lifetime.  We can instill in our children only enough for them to become who they will be.  We can guide, we are not meant to control. I never did such to my children.  Each chance in life is theirs, I worked hard for them to have such.  There is nothing they cannot accomplish, see or touch.  They loved everything around them.  It was never my belief to restrict them to a small percentage of the world.  I was open and honest in each aspect of life that I saw.  But that was my understanding set to being their foundation to grow.  We cannot limit another’s will.

I fear, and pray as a mother, that if he keeps to those of limited selective life views, not facing the amount of trauma he has experienced, it can evolve to keeping the cycle going.  I have seen him as early as the age of 13 to showed signs of this.  That in my heart I attempted to break free, but we are limited to seeking to get away from our abusers.

Horror stories we hear, but we never assume them to being a reality until they are within our daily lives.  By not holding empathy for all, even forgiveness to those that have only come to experiencing such pain it can manifest into an unforgiven sickness. That cycle continues.  The courts after ordered evaluation too seen by his responses and explained experiences how much that he was coached.  Being a parent knowing such, we feel we must seek to get them the best help.  We can not hold onto such anger.   I have myself been working on forgiving the abuser.  The proper ways of understanding had no one in his life to having the grasp of seeing since they too are part of that cycle.  I had been blessed with not such, knowing that others are love.  I have a deep understanding and love for all around and how they played a role in my growing, empathy and strength.  I do thank the abuser for my strength it is unmeasurable. I pray and leave truths and guidance for when he awakens, offer a light of hope.  Even the richest man has battled the tormented mind leaving them in a state of unknowing of the beauty that is available around them. Always even in the darkest and hardest of times, we find love and compassion.  If we close ourselves to such, we are missing many miracles.

We still have breath, we still walk forward.  I tend to walk what I speak always, and as I become older, I had noticed I have become more silent.  Again with help of the most compassionate friends, whom been with me along the way, they told me to regain my voice and be done.  So I am.  I love you all, you know who you are.  Thank you for the kick in the buttocks.. My heartfelt gratitude…

Today I open this basement door, that behind it holds a container the size of a human body filled with papers and evidence of such injustice. It is not papers to me. It is a horror that took the most loving of this world. It cannot be undone by all that acted in each of their ways and intents.  They hold that forever.

27858250_982777741876460_4803410391518013520_n I am, just starting.  Know this, each time I have to reopen it, it is opening pandora’s box.  The grief I feel in reading each harmful step we had to face is so very hard.  It has taken me a long time to understand how I need to be brave to show the truths.  Little by little I will post.  I saved it all each word, each step, each transcript, each criminal photo each video so many things that I did not even report to give my children less hardship along the way.  It is time to open the door and open the box…   It is a real-life horror.  The lessons are many and what remains has to help the next.

 

The first transcript breaks my heart reading again.  How much my younger son fought as I did, so hard and at such a young age.  For you Joseph, “mom is being brave and post your voice here” … The FIRST TRANSCRIPT I PULLED OUT of the box.  I can not stop crying.. right now.. shaking beyond.

So please read this in honor of my son Joseph… take the time…. to understand what we faced. Click here —–   June 19 2013

I apologize if I I repeat myself, I will attempt to have someone edit this all, again it is really hard for me to do.  This will take some time as everything I do does.

I will be providing a lot of details documented steps I walked. The different court systems, the areas of those systems, the outside resources such as child services, therapy, counseling and advocate groups. As much as I can provide. All information is available publicly, nothing is to be kept by me.  Walking into a courthouse with the index number all information can be pulled and read for itself.   Associated public sourced information is provided, and websites sourced.  All again in public domains.  Each action has happened to me, and this my story of those events.

I will show in its turn how very important events had been ignored, and over-elaborated untruthful meaningless actions took to causing a tunnel of deception.  As many attempts to keep others preoccupied, to hidden truths, or delaying them to surface.  How victims tend to be the backlash in circles instead of seeing justice.  How monies over weigh moral decisions.  Each day I will attempt to add more direction as I can handle.   Matters set off what is called triggers of pain, endless grief, but on stronger days, that same strength fills me that I can provide a lot more. Grief is crippling.  At first I might have everything all over the place, and repeated but I promise to get things more in order as I can.  What this evolves to being, I might publish, so I am leaving details to the exact to be addressed at a later time, for I do not want to bring anger but helping.

So where to start… I will pull the second document from the box…  ACS documents ( e.g. Child Services)

I will remind you I am speaking and not writing in grammar form.  I am disabled.  I will revise as I got along.

Joseph’s special needs.  ACS as well documented heavily how his special needs, I made sure of it.  I stressed it as I do and did in each area of his life.  I fought to even getting him a para in school, counselors both of my children.  I did everything as they pushed by court order to have no contact or I would be placed in jail.  I am not one to break orders, as the abuser seen no regard to them.   The relation to cause and effect played no part in the abusers upbringing and life.  Consequences to actions ignored. Very dark the place I saw surrounded him even from a child, parents that fought against each other on each little element for no reason just to argue or battle over power.  Two chiefs, always having to put down each other in many times.  Not much love.  I watched the abuser having to be the medium between their arguments and their only care was whose side the abuser was favoring?  That the nature of his surroundings to being nice and keeping it limited.   That is his story to tell.

The first child attorney ignored all of the special needs as we continued and requested follow up. So we had to resort to insurance medical records, prescriptions filled dates since events had not been advised of reactions that had been taking place in the courts.

Many letters, the last requesting the status of his allergy testing in 2013.  This would have told us if new or others have gotten worse.  Ignored, not completed.   I have the insurance statements proving that he never saw his allergist as required in addition notices from his allergist following Josephs death confirming the date of his last visit.  The last time he was seen was with me in 2012.  Taking him to a pediatric clinic is not his allergist. Joseph was a walking time bomb with unknown to what was happening inside, what to look out for.  Each year we understood more or fewer allergens.  The last year of 2012 Hazelnut appeared I cannot imagine what and why someone who claims to be a child’s father and caregiver so aware of his allergies to not taking him.  Then to say Joseph had attacks that had been unexplained since he had not been near his allergen? Again, the truth shows for itself.  Joseph was not allergic to airborne allergies. Period.  Here is the letter about annual allergy check up I have the list of medications as well.  Expiration dates of medication is less than a year.  As I get deeper into this box I will post them all. I have all the medical reports as well including the time of Josephs final anaphylaxis reaction and what caused his respiratory failure! The abuser lied about a lot of it.  It is in honor that truths be known to helping the next always and to keeping my sons honor.  We all knew something was wrong when he spent more time in the media, on those last days instead of with his son.  To cover his faulted ways.  Many that know truths, see and read each word based on a factual understanding of what can take place, as with most everything he distorts to either gaining sympathy, seeking approval when they did act wrongly to gain the highest of his priorities at that time, money.  I stayed away from it all.

I cared only for my child, as many expressed that I should speak out, I really did not need to, I told them then as I say now.  It shows itself and I want nothing in part to what he is doing.

So let me state Facts -He did not administer the medicines required in time. Period. His fear of administration of the pen overweighted his ability to use it in time. Period.  The lack of awareness spoke the truth in all given media between each line the truths tell for themselves.

Again, as we looked at medical prescription refills by medical insurance, we noticed they had not been up to date.  Period. I will post all.  My greatest fear, was not being near him during a reaction.   He has to live with the truths, truths show for themselves. It cannot be hidden.    The time was the difference between life and death.  Ordering pizza from a take-out place with the risks of his severe allergens is the first mistake. I will speak my son’s voice and truths.  I am the only one that tells such.  I do not and never will speak an untruth of my children for gain, I help the next as I always attempt to help my children.  With all my heart and soul.

The truth shows in the ACTIONS and the TRUTH SHOWS FOR ITSELF, along the way.  Many do not understand when I say such, that in time it will all be clear.  Many have asked me to be more public, so I am.   I will face yesterday when I open this box each time, and all the hardships I will feel within my soul as it was today.  That is what PTSD does, the triggers will leave me so weak and disassociated.  I cannot explain to many how doing this is very not much in my control the pain and physical harm it does when I am triggered.  I will face it.. It has to be told.  I know after I read this I will be lost for the next few days.  A blur.  This is what takes place and I am praying you understand the effects.  Memory levels are so bad, in addition to basic life’s functions. As the depression takes over.   The only way out of each disassociated episode is through each one.  I am blessed not to being alone, with my doctors and support of many I will get through each one. It is a lifetime for me, my disabilities are permanent and cannot be removed, by a magick pill but the coping and learning to relive with them is what I have been doing with the greatest doctors.  I am still breathing.  I cannot complain, nor am I.  I am just attempting to stress for your understanding what takes place during a day for me.  There are many triggers.  Heading into them this way, I have been working on getting stronger to even be able to look inside again.  I pray for the strength to do this slowly.  It needs to be done.  Even if I write a few sentences every few weeks. I will be updating as I can. when I can and when I know I have the proper support to getting through them around me.

It is my children’s justice.  It is with the purest intent, to helping nothing more.   It must be told.  It is not mine alone to keeping.  It does not belong to me alone, I am keeping it for those whom it helps.  I have it all electronic, as well.  It is saved everywhere in each step.  I knew the corruption as the truths ignored I made sure to document it all. In each step along the way, that one day I need to show the corruption and harm I faced, alone through the events that took my children.

Every one of them, in all areas of their corruptions, or turning their heads, even to the child lawyer, connection to doing favors for the abuser since he was friends with him personally outside of the courts due to Mid island little league baseball.  It is criminal.

I had to face days of trial, sitting in front of a court room being questioned on every aspect of the nightmare of how severe the level of abuse made been committed to me.  Reliving each moment, as many sat in the court room.  It was such trauma of reliving such just to “prove” that I was being abused.  As if many arrests of the non human and hospitalizations and other evidence was not enough.  The Judge Peter whom had been the referee during this time was June 2012 awarded my level and was documented after days of grilling, but the non humans attorney, as police officers took the stand, as others had been brought in to testify not with me but against me, all in the abusers circle of friends and favors.  They failed since the Judge himself could see the level of abuse for himself, most likely based on the abuse I had to even face in the courtroom.  I cannot bring into words the questioning, the discrimination from every area of anything that would be a joy in my life to being demonized.  A basic trip to a grieving friends mothers home in the Hamptons, turned into I was seeking to see an old boyfriend.  If you can imagine that seeing a very old friends mother after her son, whom had been my friend for a lifetime passing unexpectedly as cheating, you can only imagine the torment that I faced when they questioned my spirituality as being open to all religions.  I was deemed and called a witch.  The non humans attorney stated as he held up a reply I had made to one of theirs that it was cursed since it smelt of witch oils?  I had to refrain myself from laughing, what exactly are witch oils and why am I even being questioned my beliefs.  There had been no limit to the questioning, it was very discriminating and unjustly.  They turned my calls for screaming laying at the bottom of stairs as I returned from her home in the Hamptons, as I was so distressed as I fell down the stairs attempting to run away from the abuser since he would stop me if I had attempted to go anywhere, and on that day I had to be in the office for meetings.   I had already told my employer as they knew just as I would come into the office dripping with distress and abuse, openly what was taking place in my life and they had been as supportive as possible until I could no longer be functioning in the same capacity required to allowing business to continue, the physical and mental stressors had been slowing appearing in my life, unknown to me what I was actually experiencing until I was hospitalized for such breakdowns along the way.  The abuse not only happens during the attacks, they linger in our lives in which one cannot express in terms to another that does not suffer from such effects from severe trauma.  It becomes crippling, days a rollercoaster of emotions.  So as to my testimony to having to defend why I would scream as I lied with a broken leg at the bottom of the stairs for over 20 minutes as the abuser circled me, tormenting me, thrashing at me.  To the extent, I was so weak emotionally from being stalked the day that I traveled to my deceased friend Sal Fabrizio’s mothers home.  The abuser placed a tracking device on my phone as well in my car.   The text messages did not stop the whole time threating to do harm if I did not return right away, in each moment that I had walked out of the home to visit with her.  A woman that had become injured by operation and grieving her sons passing.  I can not express into words the torment they directed to turn each area of my being into a demon.  It failed and the court as you can read in these documents after all testimony and questioning was founded that I had “proven” my burden of domestic violence.   Immediately the abuser was told he must leave the home, and within just that little step of me being awarded a safe home, you would assume the abuse would be come less, it only increased his anger and harm towards me.   Here the order – You can read  documents,  This being the start that I was to now, no matter where I had been will be faced with police officers ringing my bell stating that I had harassed someone, or been seen somewhere attempting to harm someone, it was all false.   In each attempt how they did not know the abuser by now in the local 123 police station was beyond me.

I did receive a visit one day as I was walking the dog, outside a Sargent, who was kind enough to tell me his brother had been going through the very same thing, and no matter what and where he was his x would deem him to being harmful when in fact she had her own agenda.  His brother had to move away to keep from the abuse of the legal system in proving his innocence each time.  He had to sacrifice all.  I looked at him and thanked him, and as I never do at any point trust anyone, reentered my home and locked the door.  A very odd visit, but they do check up on domestic violence victims here and there to seeing if you are okay.  I never did know if and when that door bell rang, if it was an officer checking up on me to seeing if I was okay, or another false report filed.  I just delt as much as possible as I attempted my all to keep my children safe the weeks they had been with me.

Once the abuser was ordered to leave, he had instead of seeking a closer place not far for the children to travel, and it being a burden for him to seeking as a father why would you not want your children near their schools and friends, but this is a deadbeat abuser that cannot amount to much on his own, and used either myself or someone around him for each object in his life.  He had and has a philosophy of a wannabe mobster.  That the weak work for a living, everything he did had been under the table, not an ounce of good in this man to contribute to society, if it is not for him, it was not to be.  Nor could he hold a job due to his temperament.  His mother and father are to blame, I had seen their own in him, so I guess if you create a monster you need to take care of the monster.  So he moved in with his parents in Brooklyn.  It was very hard for me to think of them there since they had been very unkept people to place it in a nice way.  My Joseph suffering from severe allergies, I cannot tell you the worry of him being away from me and in a home that is filthy.   I mean hoarders, and very filthy.  I am not saying that to being mean, it is just factual and the stressors of him being there both of my children without me daily broke my heart, as well the distance they would have to travel daily to continue school.  How the courts would allow them to travel such and not demand the non human to get closer residence was beyond me.  I questioned why in replies as his attorney attempted to appeal the abuser from leaving the home, which was denied.

The courts assigned a Guardian for the children. It was odd how he appeared in the case.  As the Judge made her decision, to the lawyer the non human had an outburst in the court room. I had no idea what was going on, nor seen why at that time the importance to the outburst.  Why would a child attorney assigned to your child needs be a threat to a parent?  Well, we would all soon find out.  I will post the transcripts of this outburst.  As we all including the Judge and the poor woman standing being assigned the case, stood there baffled.  Even the judge did not understand, but somehow magickly Anthony Morisano was sitting readily in the courtroom?

Within the first appearance, after assignment, it took no less than a month for him to saying after all the testimony and decision, that the children are to remain in the house permanently and the parents would have to have a “Nesting Agreement” .  So the children would remain in the home and instead of them having to leave, and going to each different location the parents would live in the home bi weekly.  A part of me welcomed that agreement, as I stressed before, BUT a very large part of me knew that once he has back in the home, I will have to question my safety all the time.  What he would do to my belongings, steal things, poison things, as I had discovered by my youngest son telling me not to use my makeup since rat poison had been mixed into it.  They did alot of talking and things in front of my son, not thinking he was paying much attention.  He was… My Joseph kept me safe.  As many parents of children with life threating illness, they are the most loving and compassionate children since they see how much others care for them and others who have the same.  It broke my heart that my child was seeing such, over and over the things I was told.  It just broke my heart, I have alot of them and I never told anyone since I did want him to trust me, to always knowing such.  My Joseph.   My older son would go whatever way someone who was buying him the next video game.  He was a new teenager, and emotions on high… puberty beyond.  The years of them knowing it all. We are all very aware of, we let them grow and just help them along the way.  At this point, for a teenage boy, of 14- 15 years old.  Oye! ( laughing) You gotta love them.. my Anthony… a very funny kid.  Loving in heart and I see a lot of me in him always, just looking at him melts me.  My first miracle baby.  He will always be my baby boy.  But teenagers don’t like that.. lol… Sorry, I am just so in love with my children always.

So the abuser was being let BACK into the only place that had been safe for me.

Soon after the light bulb clicked back to that day in the outburst of the courtroom when he came into light because he did the “unthinkable” this attorney.   He brought the worst FALSE accusations against me. I never saw a “What if she” in her courtroom means “she did so? ” Wow..how I was taken advantage of since this attorney in each appearance the 10704098_411360755684831_8965996953881781264_nfirst matter was his payment.  Then the children.  The attorney saw my old salary and knew which to pay to attempt to hold to the system.  Me.  I have to say such because I talk to many that face the same.  I even tested him in an appearance saying I would no longer fight I want visitation and he walked out, knowing that he will soon be seeing the door anyway.  Then he turned to saying this poor woman has not seen her children in months…. in appearances following his emergency order… each appearance until I found out the truth of why the first misguided injustice was so over-elaborated.  I still hear him each time after he placed the order to stop my parenting as he talked with my children especially joe to his saying on the record…. “This poor woman has not seen her children…”  I tell you I have calmed in my age to keeping repour facing such injustice, but the look he received once cannot help but giggle inside that I must have sent his way each time.  Like through his soul the pain, all of them not many could look me in the eye.

I have and keep to learning to see the truths and holding empathy, even to the stereotype attorney that took greed to a different level, but forceful legal kidnapping, unjustly. He would attempt to recover his sorrows after each visit with my younger son, I know this.  Each court visit he stated how much Joseph missed his mother.  Even to the school reports of the same, since he had seen a counselor there as well.   He would take time to miss mom when he was safe too, school was a safe haven to him.  Even to his last day.  His last word he had to write I cannot come to feeling how my son must have felt to write.  “Mother” .  His last spelling test my son would complete, on the day of his relentless battle ( my hero) no parent ever wants their child to face.  Joseph had life-threatening food allergies, and came into contact on Halloween 2014.11234866_1000305743347023_4644918709509265795_nI always as all mothers place ourselves to how our children feel over our own.  How can others not see their place to keeping his true happiness and that loving relationship for their own selfish reasons?  A very hurtful action towards Joseph himself by others selfishly, they have to face that.  I is the truth.  Many know, even to his last and final child attorney and others whom talked with me at his services.   How much he longed to be with me, to even talk with me.  How can a family member not feel that pain for him, and attempt to make every chance possible as I was demanding such from the other end, endlessly doing the same as I still do now.  I cannot imagine how he wanted to cry sometimes that he missed me to having to hide such.  It breaks my heart and soul.  Then my anger fills even for my older then I have to center and again say, he cannot be that heartless it is not him.  It is not normal for a child to not long for his mother, no matter how evil you make her out to being… sorry not going to happen.  Many told me his pain and at the same time his strength to endure to keeping to being a happy child, filled with love and hope.  My older son at the time of Joseph being in the hospital even on those last days sat in front of me and my sister that they had not talked about mom in the house.  This to both me and my sister I seen in her eyes and I myself felt instantly, the pain not only for Joseph but for my older.  He said it with out emotion. He said it without any regard to any understanding of how very abusive such was.

Again, daily I see through to healing and acceptance, then understanding the truths as they surface.  We have too, especially when there is just so much.

Others overlooking many of their own actions so hurtful or purposely directed to harm.  I know that I myself, felt and talked with many when I had to keep faith and safe that I held some form of sorrow that it would take to long and that I wanted to be with my kids, the endless crying the constant day in and out attempting to be allowed contact, and the unknown worries of how my children are being treated, filled me inside with alot to work out myself.  I circled it over and over but it came always back to, you need to stay alive for them.  I never inside imagined that he would harm my children so very much like he did.  I did not want to believe it would come to such as he did.  I feel sorry that I just thought the abuse was towards me and that once he would not harm so much to them.   I know I never left, for just leaving.  It breaks me that my children had to have a day of memories of such horror around them daily.  If I stayed I probably would be sitting in a jail cell, or dead and my children would be still in the same situation.  How the justice system failed to bring us together quicker and allowing this abusive man still today out there I know you cannot change a leopards spots.

To have a Judge see a repeated order of protection over and over in front of her, as the abuser , abused me in front of the children on many attempts over the years, does not count as child abuse and trauma and possible harm to them of “What could of’s” ???

Me cursing the abuser to myself, turned into I was directing anger at my older?

As I said then, I will say now.   I am a parent and I will parent when needed.

Selective memory plays a great roll in parent alienation.  Matters are taken to the greatest hate that even someone’s shoes are viewed as demons.  It is very twisted, but because my older suffered and suffers to the extreme and the signs of the continued cycle turns on to him, I kept fighting for my Joseph and he was fighting for me.  I love my older son, but he will have to face life as it comes to him.  I can only guide and pray.

A part of me many times I battle with knowing that alot had been done towards me that my son never stopped to speak out about.  He allowed for me to be pushed out.  He helped.  Even if I had an outburst after being abused, after many of his as well his fathers, it just does not matter.  Mom is not allowed.  Really hard to explain t a child you have been abused by someone they love, so I just kept a lot out of such, with the exception the stress and energy poured off of me around and I am sure my children felt such.  How can they not?  Then I have to recenter and ground myself to understanding that the parent alienation my older son has, and the cycle will be a battle for him, so I need to keep to having empathy and love that I can still help him.  Regardless of whatever he throws my way.  It is like someone stepping on you over and over, but you stand up and hug them.

I am still working to forgive not only for me but for Joseph as his mother since my older son restricted his younger brothers rights.  Its called healing.  I work with that understanding daily, saying it is a reality that he has to understand and the abuser deep inside one day.  He watched and has allowed and has continued a relationship with the abuser.  He decided such.  On his own.

Over in my mind, I have to see the times my own child worked to not being very kind to me.  Even on the day, his brother was fighting for his life, not even a phone call to my extended family to tell us what was taking place until it was already too late.  Thank goodness for my intuition is all I have to say, i felt it all and had my sister call after seeing an odd twitter comment he had made.  Something I cannot explain took me to knowing and see alot as it all happened miles away.  That connection people talk about very much is real.  Especially between mothers and sons.

The lack of compassion my older son has held inside towards me and my extended family I battle with but know it is part of it all.   I hope it is something he works on, for when even when his grandfather passed away he did not even call any of us or the extended family like my sister.  It is very hard to still not view him as each step he has chosen has shown in it not much care.  A dear friend of mine told me, that it must be so hard for him to face all the pain.  I feel that is very true. I just fear what will happen to it all.

He holds pain of actions that in times of a divorce when people might be acting out of what a child knows to being taking place to the worst things in the world, that are in no measure to the actions he has himself made.   Again, part of why I worry for him.  If he sees so narrowly, it is not good to much relationships of his future.  He will hear it over and over how he himself does not see the larger harm he might be doing due to the smallest of what he believes to being acts against him.  I know, since he does such daily towards me.  Where nothing of really is was done, he might cause greater harm to a relationship but these short narrow views.  I pray for him.

Morisano has on record publicly Index Cases before Justices.  So of 182 cases 59 before Panepinto.  You do the math.   This data was taken from Ecourts NYC.  These are just cases he had been either the Defendant or Plaintiff Attorney, NOT a Guardian Ad Litem.

That would be a larger number if I was able to sort and extract by such.  So this number is much larger than just the cases he is the direct attorney of either side.   Most move their cases in front of Judges that favor to working with.

The FIRST TIME I EVER SEEN THIS JUDGE MAKE A QUICK DECISION, THE WRONG ONE AND A VERY BAD ONE THAT THE EFFECTS TOOK PLACE FROM THAT DAY FORWARD.  THAT EMERGENCY ORDER WAS HELD ON ME UNTIL AFTER MY SON LIFE WAS LOST AND THE OLDER BECOMING 18.  Even as she held a letter that the accusations had been 1) no crime 2) not before a judge. Never did I have a day of justice to be heard.  I replied many times and demanded.  Ignored. I have all of the motions.  I have everything.  I was disabled fighting a system I myself had to watch each area of corruption.  I could not trust any of them, one by one I see how I was overlooked, my abuser had the child attorneys and an attorney.  To be in front of a Judge as you tell them of all the abuse as she is overseeing the actions taking place during, she ignored the abuse that was taking place towards me.  Never did she in her courtroom place charges on the abuser when he violated her own orders of protection.  They had been in criminal court, but again, she could have acted to charging him.  He had our children.  I had false accusations in criminal court that had never gone before the Judge in criminal court and she held an order against me on the same accusations taking away any of my communications with my children in hers.  This Judge wants to be known for helping woman in empowerment.  She is the reason many woman as myself, have been scared to surface.   As I watched the case of Larry Nassar and the Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, I stood up in my chair, in tears filled with pain, but a feeling of some form of Justice took place.  For it has been too long.  I prayed as I watched day by day as my abuser had his rights and mine removed.  As I voiced them about the injustice, slapped again by the Attorney Generals Office defending her.  Not one judge that seen this hateful method of child abuse by court handling to being immoral.  There are so many more facing this today.  My child died as the abuser who claimed to being the caregiver ( never put his monies on the books a wanna be mobster a deadbeat, most importantly a theif) , was handed my special needs child, as he was walking out of criminal jail by bail.  I never can feel full justice for my children if I remain quiet and I will never remain as such.  Thanks to all of them, I have nothing more to lose.  They took my children away, with no just cause from the abused woman, who was fighting with her all to getting them safe.  They watched, they turned their heads, they did nothing.  She could have acted since she new what was taking place, why a woman would be working with every domestic violence advocate available to staying alive even having to move out of state, to stay alive.  With a confidential address, with what they define marital property, since it was only in my name, to being destroyed over and over as it was awarded to the abuser, showing he had no care about it, only to take it then destroy it as if he was harming me from a distance.  I told her everything.  She would say ” I don’t know what you want me to do”. I gave him the family GMC , she allowed him to have my only way of independence of driving to be taken away but having my license suspended.  He made sure to allow the insurance to lapse and left the truck destroyed I was told by the towing company after reaching out to find out what took place as the department of motor vehicle sent me copies of everything, just left in the street to collect tickets. Without care, he left the vehicle that had been ORDERED for him to reregister and turn over plates out of my name. Luckily after mailing them all the transcripts and court orders my license was reinstated.  He never did.   When he was fighting for the house, was the biggest thing he was then fighting to have, I gave in to him having occupancy since what I was never going to walk into again since I would never be safe, he destroyed it, left it still to going into foreclosure.  Never took over the mortgage or made any payments.  I cannot tell you how I could not change it out of my name, but I demanded him to be responsible for any shortfall on the property.  I will make sure of it to taking place.  I promise to that.  I had not been near that home since 12/2012 when the judge ordered me out by the false accusations.  At the end, and again on the record, the Judge asked his attorney if he was going to do the same thing to the house as he did the truck, his attorney.  So she knew who was acting wrongfully instead of making things less hard on everyone, most importantly the children.

I will post all the transcripts.  Never once did she hold the monster in contempt of violation of the orders of protection she herself ordered.  As over five times broken.  Many times him attempting to attack me in the courthouse, did she hold him, no did the court officers hold him yes!  Did they judge bring charges as she witnessed it herself. NO!   What did she think he was going to do with my children.  She is NOT in ANY way or should be a SPOKESPERSON for WOMEN EMPOWERMENT.  EVER.  She is the opposite of such.

THIS IS A JUDGE THAT GAVE US OUR VOICE FINALLY

I stood up a little taller, I cleared my voice that held a lump for so many years after such being ignored for me.  The tears had been from my soul, falling down my face as I listened what I hoped to hear as justice should have come and never did! THANK YOU Judge Rosemarie Aquilina.  You not only helped all of the voices in that courtroom, you allowed all of us stand up again inside a little taller, the world got a little brighter since it has been very dark.

It might not have been my direct justice in that court room, but it was our VOICE ALL SURVIVORS

I stood up screaming ” YES YES YES FINALLY” and dropped to my knees in pain, but at the same time some light was there for the next.  Maybe someone will look into why this took the nation by storm.

We the survivors already can tell you, BECAUSE IT NEVER WORKS OUT FOR THE VICTIMS or our loved ones who continue to have to live the rest of their lives if lucky to still being alive!  My son, moms voice holds your love…

So now the abuser was in the house and I was out and he had my children as being at least residential supervisor ONLY to the boys.  He did NOT have custody.   Within just that short period of separation, my son’s death and my older so parent alienated it was proved in forensic evaluation to being criminal in the care of the abuser.  The effects again life harming.

kjjkhuoiuoiuiouljljI had to find the proof and when I did, I brought it to the court’s attention, and he was removed from the case, but the courts made it to be that he excused himself not placing on the record the connection.  This delayed the proceedings further since two child attorneys had to be reassigned.  Once this all was made clear, and already facing more acts of harm to me the abuser was yet again arrested in May 2013.  The criminal advocates as well the Judge was made aware that I had to be sent out of state.  I was told to say it was for employment reasons in court so the abuser did not know that I was out of state being monitored for the criminal cases.  If he was looking for me it would show with his request to finding me in court and so he attempted. I appeared after approved to call in due to the domestic violence his attorney on June and Aug 2013 demanded my whereabouts, that it was a top priority and even asking for my passport to be turned over.  There was no reason for them to seek such his attorney was acting on part of his client to find me.  They warned me that this will take place and not to give up my whereabouts until the criminal cases had been over.  I kept the ACP address on all appearances and the Judge did know such.  Then clearly on the record showed that Mr. DeNicola was still on the hunt for me.  He had the house, and the children and no need to know my whereabouts.  I reported the information to the district attorney and a copy of the transcript as  I had been told to do.  The evidence.

What was to be a few months of criminal cases to be over with, the abuser turned it into the 18 months that I was told it would take.  The advocates told be this time frame and I cannot believe that they knew how long it would actually! As I look back.  I was told to tell the judge I was looking to call in for exactly that time frame, 18 months and pose it to being for employment while the abuser was listening in the courtroom if asked my whereabouts that should not have been asked at all.  Which after looking back came to be exactly the same time period.  I guess I just wanted not to think it would take that long, since he was set to be in criminal court on September 11 2013.  I was not alone on the call to the courts that day, as I asked for support to be with me by the advocates.  They could not be on the call they said but they did help me to exactly what to do and to getting away out of the state as I needed to be safe until it would take.  divorce-8

On Aug 2013 the judge still did not have the two new 18-B child attorneys yet that would take the case.  So it was adjourned to me coming to doing forensics when the criminal cases would be over, but I did not believe it would be 18 months so I demanded it sooner.  That being in June 2014 going against what they told me to come back for, I just could not wait anymore as the abuser pushed his criminal cases out further and further and I needed to get my kids safe.  I pleaded and demanded to the court for my safety on that day as I was told to be as vocal as possible on the record of the abuse being overlooked.  She finally signed it in July 2014.  It was to be completed by Sept 2014.  Delayed over and over by the abuser, and his attorney, ignoring the order.  My children had been finally set to be available on Oct 2014.  I was called to schedule a flight in, and I did, for them to again canceling.  If they did not I can only wonder how I could have held my child after so long, and seeing his smile and making him happy to be with each other we so missed each other so very much..  But Oct 31 was the day of his last reaction that took his life. The next time I saw my child was fighting for his life, in a hospital bed already to late to speak to him, since he had already suffered to much brain damage. I never left his side, I cannot express the grief.  I cannot go into detail, at this moment, it takes to much out of me, but I will come back to explain more.  You can read Josephs story on this memorial website you are reading from. My souls leaves my body it feels each time I go back to those days.   Just these few sentences have triggered, and I am very much having to stop for today.  I will continue journaling tomorrow.  The pain is beyond words..   So tomorrow you will read from this point. forensics page oneforensic pg 2forensic pg 3

So again, before he left in June 2013, Morisano requested for a forensic evaluation to be conducted, but it was never ordered since the new attorneys required to meet with the children. As of Aug 2013, they still had not been assigned.  Delaying but it was the same time that the criminal cases had been going on, and I assumed I had the time as so did the court to get back for forensics.  The judge did not assign new attorneys until  October 2013.  Then adjourned again to January, since you had to meet them, I started to demand forensics to be done.  It all was taking to long.  I did not care and demanded.  The Judge finally wrote the order in June 2014 ( look at the dates I attached it above).  I had been the only one that cooperated, traveling with the known possible threats of the abuser, back and forth each meeting I did not miss one.  Even up to the time it was asked for an update by the courts of the status, I was the only one as the abuser delayed bringing either of you.  Delays in between either due to a so-called conflicting schedule by the abuser’s attorney, but we knew it was to delay me being able to tell the judge how the abuser had not made any attempts to cooperate with the order.  Everything was a circus act each time court was on because they never wanted to get to the topics that meant the most, the abuse and your safety, I spoke out each time demanding such.  Requesting contempt over and over on the abuser.  How the judge turned her head.  Even after your brother’s death, how can a Judge not seek immediate actions or even question the lack of parenting by the abuser? I was told that I had suffered enough and nothing can change the outcome of my son’s death, but that still does not sit right within me.  I was the only one looking out for my children’s well being as they the system ignored all of my pleadings.

WebCivil Supreme – Appearance Detail

As each time it was delayed, no contact even a phone call I could I make to my children.  I was beyond, worried and in such fear for them.  I was very much seeking she would request for the forensics to take place, she did not until I demanded such finally in the next court session. The motions, his lawyer made had been criminal.  I had to answer and do for myself each one, so many that it was just adding layers on layers of non-sense to distance the judge from the actual matter of abuse that should have been first and center.  The abuser had an attorney, and I did not, causing him to get much more than I can even know I had rights to receiving.  At a point, the judge even had been paying him alimony, my abuser as I was disabled and suffering.  This the extent of abuse that took place over and over each time we revisited the case, I was being attacked.  The child attorneys had been listed under him during the case and that I still am looking into as why.  I do see that the judge does get to go to atlantic city casion annually all expenses paid by the abuser’s attorney Spinelli.  I cannot say the Judge liked him much.  I am not sure anyone could just by knowing his nature, to be honest.  He sure did attempt to buy her.   I do believe.  I still do not understand overall why this Judge allowed so much to take place, knowing so much abuse.  She knew just by his lawyer that he was dangerous, he even went after his lawyer in the court room more than once.  Right in front of her.

As I have been still not understanding the connections between the abuse I received in that court house such injustice as truths ignored and lies took either a turn of her head or no actions at all. WebCivil Supreme – Motion Detail I was my own lawyer since I could not afford one, and it took me until I was completely incapacitated from the abuse of my illness taking over from the years of domestic violence.  She assigned a Guardian At Litem for me due to my disabilities.  That not until after my son’s death.  Each time she adjourned the case it was not for another two or three months, to be back in court.  You would think the judge would have done more, even to act more quickly? She did not.  He is still left to practicing as a child Guardian Ad Litem.  The abuser was involved with Mid Island for years, everyone knows this.  People have asked me if he was such an abusive man how did the courts allow him to have the kids, this is why!  He had a corrupt child Guardian Ad litem make up false accusations against me.  Once investigated, and looked into since it was beyond criminal to creating such to separate the only true safety for the children, I never saw an attorney run so far away from a case.  That even after he wrote the false motion and blowing up to what was basic parenting during a time, that he did not even realize that private police investigators had already been monitoring the abuser, on the same evening, and I had been at the police station with them to identify him. Same night!

Everything was viewed as I was hateful in my sons eyes as he talked to the Guardians and others.  He turning into the mouthpiece that will overall show at the end the level of such parent alienation.  They new it was taking place since the Child attorney stated that he felt like his mother was not even happy to see him one day as he seen her walk into a fish store.  That she just looked and left not coming to talk or be with him or his brother.  The Judge as well I took alarm to this, since it showed that the children did not even know that if I had I would be going against the order and I would be going to jail.  The judge asked if the children had been especially the older told, that the mother has a full stay away, and the Child attorney stated ” he did not know” immediately the Judge did order for a social worker to start to counsel the children with supervised visits that never took place, since the abuser once it was ordered attacked even more to stopping such at the same time of me in June, right before the worst of the abuse to me… between the abusive attacks, the stress of the telling me that I had to seek further safer place to live, I was in the hospital with a complete onset of my illnesses.  It was the breaking point to the body.  I came back to the location for the intake and was told during that time to makeing my final decisions by doctors, advocates as well general family and friends and a therapist I had started to seeing. Regardless no matter what I did I would be attacked.  My children would be used, as it so turned out by my oldest as proof they are correct, to being nothing but harmful, forgetting the beauty and never being able to seeing such.  They headed me off before had with guidance is they had seen matters before, and I did not want to believe such, but I can say they all had been right.   I made the final applications with help of the legal pro se office for what I needed, requested by guidance from the advocates other areas I should request such as the below letter outlining and talked with many that would just check in on the children without and still have been doing for me.

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It took me until October 2013 to get a letter from the District Attorneys Office, with help from the many advocates who directed me to seek it.  I even knew that I was about to face the hardest days of my life evermore if I did not allow room for time to just get things done in the courtsystems that had been dragging.  I would be dead waiting.

 

divorce-3I sought protection from the courts, but they could only protect me as I was in the courthouse, but could not once I left.  I was no good just becoming another statistic, or being in a jail cell to be silenced.  Too many times, too many had worked not in favor of doing the right thing, there was no longer trust in that system to protect at the level required. ” I have on transcripts many times asking for help to keeping safe as I had to continue to fight for your safety as well.  I was told, by the judge, she had no control to help such. Again I will post since I have all transcripts. During abuse cases the harm it creates when not handled in a quick timely manner kills.  They had not made the correct decisions! They had even lacked even making a decision in most instances.  Doing nothing and allowing it to continue, even ignored orders by the abuser.  Over and over never found in contempt by the courts.  As if I had to ask for contempt or it was ignored.  That is what this system shockingly is like that I am describing.  Criminals have more rights than the victims.  Why do those that are being abused take things into their own hands, they must have walked or know those that have been through the system before and know how it has failed!  I still held some faith to it.

Moral judgment, safety for all involved has turned to nothing other than sending monies to each area of their system, you’re in a turmoil circle of injustice filled with greed.  They have lost connection to justice.  I even fought them, to raising awareness to help the next.

Many have surfaced that have faced the same as I, and directed by the same people within the system.  It breaks my heart knowing that others are just entering into it.

A system should not be based on keeping people locked in a system, to keep lawyers and judges and money flowing, but justice.  Lady Liberty was not in the courtroom we had to enter. Those that work for these people and around them can confirm what I am saying and should speak out.  Keeping quiet is as bad as doing it yourselves.  

These are names for the next to understand if they are looking who had been part.

 

 

Eric T. Schneiderman, New York State Attorney General
By: Joseph L. Paterno, Assistant Attorney General STEPHEN A. SPINELLI & ASSOCIATES, STEPHEN A. SPINELLI (persons) BARBARA I. PANEPINTO (persons), RICHMOND COUNTY SUPREME COURT HON. BARBARA I. PANEPINTO, MORISANO ANTHONY (persons), ANTHONY J. MORISANO, ESQ., THOMAS R. CONIGATTI (persons), THOMAS R. CONIGATTI, ESQ., P.C. Eric T. Schneiderman, New York State Attorney General
By: Joseph L. Paterno, Assistant Attorney General

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I attempted to bring lawsuit copy of the attached link here as you can read I brought the case against the judge and all that had worked against my child’s rights.  They at some point DID go against their jurisdiction or ethics on the record for each one I gave the proper evidence /  But JUDGES HAVE IMMUNITY….  I did respond but it was obvious at that point regardless it was not going to go further even that I named the practices they had been working for the state, assigned 18b child attorney is paid by the state.  I was in the worse part of grief as I was doing this each day I could even function. Alone.

 Read here names are listed here even to the level of Attorney General of New York. http://vertumnus.courts.state.ny.us/claims/html/2015-049-035.html 

I will ALWAYS BE THE VOICE OF TRUTH FOR MY CHILDREN AND I WILL NOT REMAIN QUIET!

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I apologize for the grammar errors and spelling I am doing my best little by little each day with my disabilities. I welcome help…

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